Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We're too hungover to prance.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
