ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
