I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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