3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
