Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
