wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
