i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
