come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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