what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
