We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
