Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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