you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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