Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
