Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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