Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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