you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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