Dual....:-)
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
