true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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