i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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