how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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