I've blown a few things in my day
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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