I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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