What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
