is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
