Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
