Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
