just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
