come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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