Where did you get a picture of my penis
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
