Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
