have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
