theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
