Me. At least after what I've been through.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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