Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
