Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
