they need to just BURY HIM!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
