You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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