The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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