im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am spending my child support on dildos
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Bring me that man meat
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
These tits shall not be calmed
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
