Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
