I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
