You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
