whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
