there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
