I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
