i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
