Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
