He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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