Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize