I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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